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Oyster Boy

OYSTER BOY LIVES inside an oyster. Portrayed by Kyle Walmsley, he is a big fishy weirdo just waiting to be shucked. But is the world ready for his nutrient rich, gender fluid, sand intolerant presence? We fired some questions his way to find out more.

Give us a rundown – who are you, Oyster Boy?
My interests include daytime TV and scraping my tongue each morning. I’ve been looking at getting into CrossFit. No, sorry, cross-stitch. I get them confused. I had a really difficult time at school, got bullied a lot, and the teachers really picked on me. It was difficult being home schooled. I really like the later works of Liza Minnelli, and I’m a shucker for a good story.

Tell us about your show.
Basically, I’m just really excited to invite everyone to my shucking. I’ve been looking forward to it for some time, so I just thought, “why not invite along 80 or so of my closest friends in order to mark the occasion?”

Whether or not you have shucking experience, it’s a really beautiful opportunity to let some ocean fluid out and mark a new chapter. I’m not totally sure what’s going to happen, but I’ve heard stories about other shuckings and I’m excited. What’s the worst that could happen?

What are some of the main differences between Kyle Walmsley and Oyster Boy?
Oh, do you mean the Raw Comedy Competition national finalist and NT Performing Arts Award winner? Never heard of him.

What were some of the at-home COVID activities you enjoyed?
I did a lot of cleaning. It’s very humid inside an oyster shell, so I spent a lot of time finding mould under and inside things and throwing them out. From here, I just went all in and completely Marie Kondo-d my whole house. I got rid of a lot. Turns out my tax receipts do not spark joy and now I am in big trouble come tax time.

How did you find your tour to the Red Centre?
Tour Life was wild. It was incredible really getting to know the people, you know? Just really enjoyed them sitting in silence in the dark for about an hour while I got to talk. I think they came away changed.

The differences between Darwin and Alice are incredible! Like, did you know it costs 50 cents to use a toilet there? It hasn’t cost me anything to do a sh-t in the Top End so far. In saying that, once I did lose half a day, but it was just after a particularly big night at Hot Tamale. Wild!

My dad was a famous conductor that travelled the world who I hardly ever got to see, so I felt like him – on the road, performing to sell out crowds, not writing home – it was amazing.

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what three items would you take and why?
My dating profile, just because it might be a good chance to settle down with someone special. A pair of tongs because I hate burning my hands turning sausages. And a book of show tunes as sung by Liza Minnelli.

What’s your idea of a perfect weekend in the Top End?
Mostly staying inside, but watching Instagram stories of people on Mitchell Street. It looks like a lot of fun.

Sometimes I like window-shopping for pearls. Such reasonable prices at the top of the mall! Was thinking of buying a block of land in Zuccoli next year, but am now saving up for a beautiful pearl toe ring instead. It’s also when I practise my improv. I’m a big improv fan.

WHEN THU 15 – SAT 17 APR | 7PM
COST $25 | $20 CONC

Thumbnail & header: Duane Preston

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